Will you change your name after your marriage? Are you planning on using a traditional last name or are you going to make a different choice? What will you choose, and why did you decide to go that way?
We took each others
- I am very lucky - I always knew I would keep my name, my heritage is South American and there a woman always keeps her name and passes it to her children. When we got engaged I mentioned that I wanted to keep my name but would also take his, he responded by saying that he would also like to take mine and so we hyphenated the two. There was no discussion at all, he's not especially modern in his thinking but he is progressive and romantic and knows me well. Every marriage has its hurdles and each couple their differences, fortunately this was not one of them.
- —Guest Merianne
- My fiancee is pretty old fashioned, although he told me I could keep my name if I want, but there is no way he would take mine. I can understand that since he is dovorced and the 2 kids have his name, but I would SO LOVE it if we created a completely new last name from both of ours. Unfortunately I don't think there is a chance for that either, so I am thinking of going hyphenated, but both our names are so long they probably wouldn't even fit on forms. I would also like to keep my old name since I am the only one who can pass it on and it's pretty rare......what to do?? This decision is more stressful than planning the enitre wedding!!
- —Guest unsure
Don't feel bad for wanting ur name back!
- I am having he same exact "regrets" or name remorse as many of the posters. I took my husbands name because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and in the end I hurt my own. It's perfectly normal to want to keep your own name or revert to your maiden name. Taking your husbands name is an old tradition based off of ownership. I'm an independent woman, and I feel that I lost a bit of who I am because I took my husbands name. I am seriously considering changing it back. Afterall, men have traditionally never had to change their name or who they are. They cannot understand how it feels to change your name, and how it may cause you to feel as though you have lost yourself because of the change. You can be a family unit and have a different last name. Guest Allison, what you said was rude and very unhelpful. You may not understand how others feel, and that ignorance does not entitle you to judge others.
- —Guest Jessica
Does anyone know if there's a time limit
- I just got married and am thinking of changing my last name to my hubby's. Is there a time limit on this?
- —Guest Elle
changed my name
- l was so happy to change my last name since my hubby and l share our first name, he being phillip and l phillipa people think we are siblings
- —Guest phillipa gore
- I got married a few months ago and I kept my maiden name but now I would like to take my husband's name. How do i go about doing that?
- —Guest shadow
- I just got married on Friday to my sons Father. We pretty much did it on a whim. Since we were married so late in the day we weren't able to change my last name but I am looking forward to getting it changed. To me, it's solidifying that we are a family. I want the same last name as my husband and son. We are one, we are a team, it's not so much the fact that I'm giving up my family for his, however, we are trying to live according to our convictions, which is part of the reason we decided to get married so spontaneously, but we are one now and neither of us believe in divorce. Wemade our commitments for life so changing my last name to his just comes naturally to me.
A Change for Us Both
- I've been dating my fiance for 7years. I love his family and he loves mine. When we marry this October I can't wait to join his family and take their name, and I can't wait for him to join my family and take our name. We plan to have his name as our official last name and my maiden name as both of our second middle names (no hyphenating) And then once we have children they will also have my madien name as their second middle names. I know some might find the idea of a man taking the woman's name as emasculating, but I think of a marriage as a joining together of families and lives including their formal titles. It's not the traditional way, but doing it this way none of the hecklers will know the difference, because no one ever asks what your middle name is. Plus I like the idea of him having just as much extra work after we get married as I will. : )
- —Guest Heather
Hyphenating is the best compromise
- Initially after getting married I kept my maiden name. But three years later I decided to hyphenate, and I love it. It really respects both family's lineage. In terms of work, it also ensures that everyone who receives email from you knows you are married. This can be a benefit in some cases. And it is not as complicated as some make it out to be. I think it took our technology guy about 5 secs to change my name in all of our systems!
- —Guest jennyjay99
This sounds terrible...
- but I want to keep my current last name, which is from my first husband. Yes we are divorced and the children are grown. I don't want to keep it for his sake, I love my fiance, but I've had my last name for longer than I've had my maiden name and I identify with it. It is a beautiful name. What a hassle it will be to change over all my id and credentials. And another reason, and I hate to say it, is that I like my current last name better than my fiance's. When I told my fiance that I didn't want to take his last name he suggested that I revert to my maiden name. But that's not the point. I know, I'm gonna have to suck it up but wahhhh, I protest!
- —Guest Ms L or D?
For Pity's Sake
- What is all the fuss about? Women change their name to their husband's on marriage; that is all there is to it. If you are that insecure that changing your name changes everything about you, then there is something wrong. It's just a name! I'm so pleased to have taken my husband's name, it makes us a unit, two halves of a whole equation. Nothing romatic or fluffy, just the way it should be!
- —Guest Allison
Not Happy After Name Change
- Like another poster, I also am not happy that I changed my name to my husband's name. I miss my old name, and I regret changing! My husband and I are very much in love, and our relationship is solid. I just miss my name. He supports me in whatever I decide to do because it is my name, after all.
You don't need therapy just because you liked your old name either, as Guest Lisa wrote. That's just rude. Some people just identify with their family name more than others.
I wish I could figure out whether I'm legally entitled to take my family name back without having to legally change my name. Does anyone know?
- —Guest Genna
Good lord, calm down
- For me, it was as simple as: I hated my old last name. So I finally got to ditch it. Plus, this one sounds so much more like me. Go figure.
In response to (only1emmapeel), First of all... "You want to be married forever but what about your spouse"? Are you kidding? Isn't that the point of marriage -- that you both want that forever? Or has marriage become the equivalent of dating these days? Because I took my vows seriously. Just as my husband did. The only way either of us are getting out of it is to DIE. P.S. I'm pretty sure not everyone's marrying an ax-murderer who's gonna go postal. I'm seeing YOUR potential to go postal far more easily than I am your husband's. Dear lord, if you're that against it, simply don't do it.
Also, I did NOT change my name because of some romantic ideal. That's ridiculous. I can't think of one fairytale where the girl took the guy's last name. Who's been saying that's a romantic thing to do?? Do it or don't. Whatever. No one cares. Good lord.
- —Guest guest
I'm Not Happy
- if you're going to be lost because of a name change, you probably need to go to therapy.
- —Guest lisa
I Changed My Name and Am Not Happy
- I have been married for 8 years and changed my name to my husband's last name which I intially did not want to but just went ahead with it. Even after so many years I can't relate to his last name. I wish to change back to my maiden name. I have always felt lost and never connected to my married name. My husband is very dear to me and we are still married. But I wish to have my own identity. Am i thinking wrong? Please help and advise me if am insane and how it would affect my children. Did someone do this kind of changing and reverting back without being divorced/separated? I feel guilty to do this but I just purely feel lost and as though I am someone I can't identify with. Will there be any problems in legal documents eg passports, ssn, driver licence etc? Will there be any problem trying to get my information once I change back to maiden name? Please help me.
- —Guest guest